Concealing The Truth
by XRandomXMissesX
Summary: WHOUFFLE FANFICTION. Clara's story of battling depression and self harm. TRIGGER WARNING. M-RATED FOR A REASON. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
1. Chapter 1

**TRIGGER WARNING**

**Hi so I decided to write a new fanfic, again on Whouffle, because allot of people stereotype that people self-harm for attention and that as soon as they have stopped it's all over for them and they can be happy. Well no. That's not true and I found that out the hard way. So I wanted to write something showing the truth and I just really wanted to start a new Whouffle fanfic. Its M rated for many reasons. Read at your own risk.**

**Concealing The Truth.**

'_Clara Oswald, soufflé girl, the woman twice dead, the impossible girl is pathetic'. _She thought to herself whilst looking in the mirror. '_Why? Oh why do I have to be so fat? I should start running... then again I'm too lazy; another reason to hate myself.' _She collapsed backwards onto her bed with a sigh. She hid her face behind both her hands and groaned in anger. She sat back up and looked in the mirror again and began prodding her face. She pinched her nose then sighed again. _'Anyway, better start getting ready.'_ She thought and got up grabbing her bag and keys, locking her flat door behind her she hurried down the stairs, jumped into her car and set off for work.

Clara soon arrived at Coal Hill School. Looking at her watch and realizing she was nearly late she hoped out the car, grabbed the marked books from the back seat and ran to the school, swiping her card at the front office to sign in. She speed walks down the corridor to her class room laying her laptop bag on her desk and placing the marked books on the shelf behind her desk.

The bell rings for first lesson and her year eight English class begin piling into the class room.

"Morning guys. Did you all have a good weekend?" Clara says; trying to start u a conversation with the students. Which fails, as per usual, most of the students ignore her and some just look at her weirdly. She sighs and walks back to her desk and waits for everyone to settle down.

"Right, guys on the back row could you start handing out the Tempest books please." Clara tells some of the students whom sign and roll their eyes before reluctantly dragging themselves to hand the books out. "So let's re-cap on what happened in the book last lesson. Who can start us off?" She said; trying to motivate the class. "Come on guys I know it's a Monday morning but still… anyone any ideas? No?" She sighed.

Then finally, probably her favourite student in this class, Mojo put his hand up. He was a sweet kid, ginger, glasses, studied hard but got picked on by the other kids. But Clara was thankful for him as it proved to her that she had actually taught someone something. Mojo babbled on about what they had read last lesson whilst Clara wrote it up in note form on the board.

"Brilliant! Thanks Mojo. Anyone else want to add anything?" Clara asked the class again.

"Yeah!" Will, the joker of the class, started. "Mojo's a fucking teachers pet." He shouted and most of the class burst into laughter, a few students chucking little chopped up pieces of rubber at Mojo.

"Right!" Clara shouted and the class went silent; apart from the odd snigger from Will and a couple of other boys on the back row. "Will stand outside of the class room for a moment."

"No miss." He replied instantly.

"GET OUT NOW!" the whole class jumped. They had never heard her use that tone before.

Will stood up, hanging his head, and dragged his feet along the floor as he left the room.

"As for the rest of you! Silent reading whilst I'm out the room. If I hear any messing around you will be back at break time." She warned them. Clara didn't want them back at break time, she would much rather have some more quiet time to herself, but if it got the class to shut up she would do it.

She marched out the class room to talk to Will who was stood opposite the class room door leaning on the wall.

"Right, well for a start you can tuck your shirt in and do your tie up." She waited until he had done so till she carried on. "What makes you think that A, it is exactable to use that language in my class room, and B, to talk to your fellow class mate like that? Just because Mojo actually sits down and gets the work done does not mean he's a teacher's pet. He's eager to learn and unlike the rest of the class he actually wants to learn listens. I can tell you now that if you carry on with this behaviour there is very little chance you will pass your English GCSE." She told him; he still had his head hung, eyes looking at his shoes. "Now I want you to go back in there and apologise to Mojo in front of the class. Is that clear?" Clara told him.

"Yes miss." He replied.

"Good, now go ahead.

Will walked back in and apologised to Mojo, which Mojo accepted and said it was alright.

.

.

.

It came to break time and there was a knock on her door.

"Come in." Clara called. The door opened and the Doctor stepped through.

"Hello Clara!" He called with the usual cute grin.

"Doctor?! What are you doing here, it's not Wednesday." She told him.

"Oh. Is it. TARDIS is a bit off recently. Where do you want to go then, we could go to the moon of stringock, wonderful view of the biblo star constellation." He started.

"Doctor I can't. I've got another lesson in-" She looked down at her watch. "-Less than ten minutes."

"Clara, it's a time machine."

"Doctor you just said that the TARDIS is a bit off. I would rather not risk it." She pointed out to him. "Come back later, after school, and then maybe I will come with you."

"Ugh fine. Four o'clock at your flat?" He asked before he left.

"Four o'clock" She confirmed. "I'll see you then."

"See you then Soufflé girl!" He called back to her as he left the room.

.

.

.

.

The rest of the day went quickly and before she knew she was driving back to the Powell Estate in Southwark. As she parked she noticed the familiar blue box was parked across the road. The Doctor stepped out as soon as she got out the car. He waved and began to walk over to her.

She began to grab her laptop bag and some more books out of the boot of her car.

"Do you want some help?" He asked; taking some of the books anyway.

"Thanks." She said. They walked up to her flat and placed the books down in her small study room where she marked most of her books. "Just let me get dressed out of my work clothes and I will be with you in a minute." She smiled before skipping off into her room.

She went to the mirror and looked at her self; her small smile turning into a frown.' _Why can't I be skinny?'_ She thought as she pulled one of her red dress out of her wardrobe and slipped it one. Slipping a pair of her black books on and wrapping a black cardigan around her arms. She lightly kissed the photo of her mother, which sat beside her bed, before she left the room to go on another adventure with the guy she secretly had fallen in love with but knew that he would never feel the same way about her. The painful thought crept in that he was only letting her travel with him out of sympathy because she didn't have any other close friends, she wasn't pretty and she was just an ordinary fat teacher who wasn't good at her job and she would almost definitely never find love.

She grabbed her hand bag which sat by the front door and ran back into the living room where the Doctor sat scanning things with his sonic screwdriver.

"You ready to go?" She asked him.

"Yep!" He replied; jumping up with excitement. He turned round and looked at her and his mind lost thought for a second as he took her in. He saw she got more beautiful every time he saw her. He grinned and took her hand and they both ran down the block to the TARDIS.

They clambered into the blue box and didn't take off for a few minutes.

"How was your day at school then?" The Doctor asked; polishing one of the leavers.

"It was alright, same old boring stuff." She replied. "What about you?"

"Did nothing really, apart from came and seeing you at break, I didn't do anything apart from a few repairs on the old girl." He lied, he had jumped straight into the future to see her again after break. He wouldn't admit it but he loved seeing Clara, she fixed him. "Right then. Let's be off!" He said with a push off a lever and the pull of a pump. He ran around the console to the side by Clara, who was giggling, and pulled another lever. They were off.

"Only one trip, I have work tomorrow." She told him whilst the TARDIS rattled. It turned out to be four trips, mostly because they got chased and because they had to get a baby back to Padaleck five.

Clara left the TARDIS grinning and waved him off. She skipped back up to her flat and made herself a cup of tea. She went in one of the cupboards in the kitchen on the hunt for some biscuits. Just as she took the packet out of the cupboard she looked at the amount of calories and thought maybe not, placing them back on the shelf and shutting the cupboard door.

She sat down in her living room watching the TV and sipping her tea. After she had finished she went to her bedroom feeling exhausted from the adventures with the Doctor. She lay down on her bed in her pyjamas and went on her laptop. She went on Tumblr, scrolling through the posts of Sherlock, Game Of Thrones and Ryan Gosling but she stopped when she came across a quote saying:

"_It's all for attention right? _

_She cuts herself for attention, doesn't she?_

_She thinks everyday about suicide._

_She starves herself._

_She cries herself to sleep,_

_She's broken._

_But it's all for attention, right?"_

Clara read it over in her head a couple of times. She looked at the tags on the image and clicked on one saying '#Seceret_Society123' she frowned at the images that came up but couldn't help but stare. _'I will never do this to myself. Never.'_ She thought. But time already new that wasn't a promise she would be able to keep.

**Ok so done with this chapter. Depressing slightly I know. This chapter personally seems slightly boring but when the story gets started hopefully it will be a bit better. Sorry for any triggers. Thanks for ready though! I'll get started on the next chapter right away.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I started this chapter last week but today I had an audition for the RSC (Royal Shakespeare Company) and I only got given the monologue, I had to learn of by heart, last Friday. So I had five days to learn that. Anyway I completely failed in my audition. I was so nervous, I forgot some of the lines, I was physically shaking and I barely acted it out. So yeah, basically I haven't got that part. The monologue was one from Henry the IV part one, Act five scene four. After the audition I came out the room and nearly started crying because UGH it was so annoying. But I've got an interview this Friday for work experience at the RSC so I still have that to look forward to. Anyway again sorry this took so long and for any readers who also read Sparks Fly, the next chapter should be out this Sunday. **

**Concealing The Truth.**

Clara groaned as the familiar sound of her alarm clock bleated in her ear. Her head popped from underneath the covers, her eyes still half shut and her hair a mess. She put her hand up to shade her eyes from the small sunbeam escaping through the curtain.

The usual routine happened after that. Take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast and off to school. She was earlier to school today so she had enough time to go and have a few minutes in the staff room. She made herself a cup of coffee and sat down on one of the chairs in the staff room, a few other staff greeted her and she had smiled at them. She sat and sipped her coffee, just then the head teacher Mr Coburn walked in and called out saying he had an announcement.

"We have a new teacher joining us who is going to be the new history teacher. Please, a warm welcome to Jesse Moyle!" He said. A few of the male staff gave a cheer, others clapped as did Clara. Clara looked over at him; he was young, straight black hair that was slightly jelled into a quiff. His body was a slightly muscular shape and he wore a suit with no tie and the top button undone.

He too was looking around the room with a nervous smile. He looked at all of the other teachers and then he looked over at Clara to see her also looking at him. They caught eye and he smiled at her. She blushed, she didn't know why but she did hope he didn't notice. She smiled back and turned away from him. After finishing her coffee she turned round to find he was still stood there looking at her. She blushed again and turned away, getting up to put her mug back in the small kitchen sink. She gave it a quick rinse and then dried it, putting it back into a cupboard.

"Hello." An unfamiliar voice said to Clara. The voice was strong but soft.

Clara turned round to meet the eyes of Jesse once again. "Oh, hello." Clara replied. "I'm Clara." She told him, shaking his hand.

"Lovely to meet you Clara." He replied with a grin. "What do you teach?" He asked her; leaning on the kitchen surface casually.

"I teach English." She replied.

"Oh good. How did you come to teach English?" He asked; staring into her eyes, not looking away.

"I've always loved looking after kids. I used to be a nanny to my friends kids, after she passed away in an accident, and being a nanny wasn't enough to pay a living so a friend of mine called the Doctor suggested I came and worked here. So I thought, why not." She told him; she felt nervous under the constant eye contact. "What about you? What made you choose teaching?"

"I don't know. I just liked the idea of teaching. The last school I taught at wasn't doing me many favours. But I've always loved history and I know allot of kids think it's boring so I wanted to try and change their view on it." He told her; still grinning and staring into her eyes. "What room do you teach in?"

"I teach in A5. What about you? Do you even know where your room is?" Clara joked. She giggled, as did he, then he stared at her as he noticed something.

"You have really cute dimples." He said staring at her cheeks. He reached up a hand and gently touched one of her dimples with his thumb. His eyes moved back to Clara's as her smile slowly shrank and her dimples slowly faded. Then he jerked his hand away from her face and a visible deep blush appeared on his cheeks. He looked down and all of a sudden became very nervous. Clara smiled sweetly at his sudden shyness. "Eh sorry. I-I'm in room uh S2." He said finally answering her question.

There was a long awkward pause before he said. "Um do you want to meet up for lunch later?" he asked with an unsure look.

"Yeah sure." Clara replied with a reassuring smile.

His eyes flicked to her dimples again and then back to her eyes. Clara watched as an almost visible wave of relief washed over him from her answer. "I'll meet you here at lunch time?" He asked; fiddling with his blazer buttons.

"Yep. Lunch time it is." Just as she confirmed the bell rang. They both smiled at each other and walked out the staff room in silence. Clara turned right to head down the corridor towards her room. He followed her for the first few moments and then realized that his room was down the other way. Clara grinned as he realised this and as he looked at her and pointed down the opposite end of the corridor.

"Um right my rooms this way. Um… I'll see you later." He told her; he looked very nervous again and Clara just giggled, this capturing his attention again. He walked backwards still staring at her and nearly knocked over one of the little year sevens; making him turn round and apologise making Clara giggle again.

"See ya'" Clara called back to him as she walked away.

"The new teacher likes Miss Oswald!" The year seven, that he nearly knocked over, said; with a grin looking up at him and then walking away.

"Miss Oswald." He muttered as he strolled back to his class room.

.

.

.

.

Break past and Clara had stayed in her room, sorting out some of her lesson plans for next week. The bell rang for lunch and Clara dismissed her year seven class.

"Mr Moyle likes you miss." One of them shouted as they left the room.

"Wha-" Clara began but turned around to see her class was already gone. She shrugged and grabbed her phone, slipping it into her pocket, just in case the Doctor rang.

She strolled down to the staff room and found Jesse waiting for her.

"Jesse." She said smiling.

"Shall we go get lunch then?" He asked with a grin.

Clara just nodded and they both walked to the canteen. Clara grabbed a baguette which was filled with salad. She went to pay for it but Jesse stopped her.

"I'll pay." He said.

"It's fine seriously Jesse." Clara protested.

"Seriously, Clara, I insist." He told her; paying for it.

They both sat down in awkward silence on a table which had a few of other kids on.

There were three of the geeky girls sat on the same table as them and Clara heard one of them mutter 'I ship it.' She turned round when she heard this and just saw them giggling.

"So… How was your last lesson?" Jesse asked her; breaking the silence between them.

"It was alright. I had the year sevens. They weren't so much a nightmare, just very giggly and some of them come up with the weirdest stuff in their English books. They have very lively imaginations." Clara said with a smile. "What about yours?"

"Mine was alright. I had the year nines. I introduced myself to them and they weren't so bad, they were a bit cocky but I can expect it as I am a new teacher here." He replied; taking another fork full of pasta into his mouth.

"Actually, that's a point, how are you finding your first day here?" Clara asked curiously.

"I'm enjoying it. Yeah. It's a lovely school and the students are a lot better behaved than they were at my previous school. The staff are all kind and I met a beautiful girl today." He replied grinning and pointing at Clara at the last part. Clara smiled, looking away, blushing and biting her lip. He stared at her with an ear to ear grin.

After finishing their lunch Clara and Jesse went for a walk around the school; Clara showing him all of the different class rooms.

"And here is one of the I.T. rooms." Clara said pointing through the small window on the door to the I.T. room. She turned to look at Jesse who just stared at her and nodded, not bothering to look through the window.

"Can I see your room?" Jesse asked; still staring at her.

"Uh sure, yeah." Clara replied; leading the way back to her room.

When they reached her room she unlocked the door and they both stepped inside.

"Oh this is a lovely room." Jesse commented whilst looking at the display of children's work on the walls.

"Thank you." Clara replied with a small smile.

He turned and grinned at her for a second then turned back to look at more of the work on the walls.

.

.

.

After ten minutes of them both chatting in Clara's class room the bell went and Jesse waved goodbye.

For the rest of the day Clara was smiling. She went home smiling but didn't quite manage to smile when she saw herself in the mirror when she got back to her flat. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed.

She threw on an oversized jumper and some baggy jogging bottoms and collapsed into bed. She cried until there were no tears left to cry. Then she just laid there, in the dark, the only sounds where her slow breathing and the sound of the small clock in her room. Slowly, the numbness of the silence and the lack of emotions sent her into a deep sleep in which she fell so deep into that no thoughts could touch her. She was safe. For now.

**Ok so there you go. I'll hopefully upload the next chapter sooner. It was just this week I had an audition on Wednesday and an interview on Friday, both for the RSC. And then today and last night I was round at my friends for her birthday party so I'm really sorry for not updating sooner. Thanks for reading though!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok so back with Chapter three! First things first, my audition last Wednesday, I didn't get the part but I'm first reserve. So basically if one of the two people who have got through decides not to do it I get their part. Yeah I feel pretty shit about that considering I have a bit of an obsession over Shakespeare. Also with my interview, I don't know yet but I doubt I will get through because I was rubbish. But I really want to get through because I made some cool friends there and I may never see them again. I also had exams this week, which were boring. I bet you I got the lowest mark on my Geography out of the whole class and I may have accidently wrote and bit of a fanfiction on Doctor Who/my life story in English… anyway. Hope you enjoy the chapter and thank you to all the people who have been reviewing. Also I wanted to answer a review, yes I will be bringing Mojo back but it might not be for a little while, but he will be back. **

**That was written about a month ago and I AM REALLY SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. I was going to finish this last weekend but I had to go down to London so I'm trying to get it done today.**

**Concealing The Truth.**

Probably Clara's favourite day of the week Wednesday. The one day she is off work during the week and she gets to travel with the Doctor for a while. For once she wasn't woken up by her alarm clock. The familiar TARDIS noise woke her up. The Doctor had landed in her bedroom.

Clara woke up with a jump; opening her eyes wide then wincing at the sudden exposure of light. Then reality hit her and she stared at the TARDIS in disbelief. The Doctor came out of the TARDIS with a grin, then he spotted Clara, who was currently under her duvet, which she had pulled up to her chin, in only her oversized jumper and nickers.

"STOP EVERYTHING!" The Doctor shouted; slapping his hand over his eyes and turning his back to Clara.

"Doctor! What are y- why did you land the TARDIS in here?" Clara asked; her voice croaky as she had just woken up.

"'Why did I land the TARDIS in here?!' More like why are you in bed?" The Doctor retorted. He turned round to face her again. His heart skipped a beat as he saw her bed hair and the sleep still evident in her eyes. She looked so cute, he thought. "Oh!" He said in realisation. "You were sleeping. It's only-" He checked the clock in Clara's room. "Five in the morning. Ah right that would explain it."

Clara just looked at him with an expression saying something along the lines of 'Yeah you great big space idiot.'

"Right. Sorry. Shall I leave and come back later?" He started whispering. "You're probably tired, you should get some sleep because I was planning on taking you to the opening of the biggest theme park in the universe so you're going to ha-" He whispered but was cut off.

"Doctor. It's fine I'm awake now. Go wait in the lounge whilst I get ready."

"Are you sure. Seriously I'll wait for a few hours if you want some more sleep." He said; moving closer to her and staring into her eyes to show he was serious. Then he noticed something. There was small mascara stains underneath Clara's eyes from the night before. "Have you been crying?" He asked. His voice sounded so tender and gentle.

"What? No why?" She said; only after she had said it she remembered the night before.

"You've got make-up under your eyes. Are you sure you haven't been crying? Clara you know you can talk to me right?" He said. He sat down on her bed by her legs and cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb underneath her eye.

Clara's heart fluttered, then she reminded herself that he doesn't feel the same way.

"I know. I'm fine Doctor don't worry." Clara told him. She lifted her hand and covered his with hers on her cheek. "I'm fine."

"No you're not; I know when you're lying. Please Clara tell me, I can help." The Doctor begged.

"Ok fine, if you really must know, I stubbed my toe last night on the wall and it really hurt." Clara lied.

The Doctor didn't say anything, he just sat up, lifted the duvet and blushed when it revealed her bare legs. "Which foot?"

"Left one." She replied. She looked down at him with a puzzled look.

The Doctor took her left foot and stared closely at it. Clara just sat there awkwardly wandering what the fuck he was doing. "All good." He told her. "Nothing to worry about, no bruises or blood."

"You're not actually a Doctor; you don't have to examine my injuries you know." Clara told him with a grin as he stood up.

"How do you know I'm not? I'll have you know that I once-" He started but was cut off again.

"Yep I'm sure." Clara leant up and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Now go wait in the living room whilst I get dressed." Clara told him; pushing him out of her room and shutting the door. She grinned as he walked away rambling on about how she was rude or something.

She went to her wardrobe and picked out a TARDIS blue skater dress which had a black collar and black lace on the ends. She laid it on her bed and chucked a pair of black tights and black boots onto the bed also. She ran out of her room into the bath room. Making sure the door was locked; she turned the shower on and waited until it was warm enough until she jumped in.

She climbed out of the shower ten minutes later, grabbing her usual red towel from the hook on the door and wrapped it around herself. When she unlocked the door she peeped her head round the door frame to check if the Doctor was there or not before she tiptoed quickly back to her room. When she made it too her room she quickly got dressed, did her make-up lightly, dried her hair and then straightened it.

She walked into the living room where she had told the Doctor too sit, but he wasn't there.

"Doctor?" Clara called.

"In the kitchen!" A voice called back with a few seconds of delay.

Clara walked through to the kitchen and was hit by the smell of pancakes.

"Ah Clara! What do you like on your pancakes? Chocolate spread? Lemon and sugar? Banana?" The Doctor asked whilst flipping a pancake skilfully in the pan he was holding.

"Just chocolate spread thanks. I didn't know you could cook?" Clara said; staring at him with a grin.

"Oh yeah! Who do you think invented the Yorkshire pudding?" He replied.

"No you didn't. Did you?" she asked with a grin.

"Pudding yet its savoury." He stated.

Clara giggled in reply; this catching the Doctor's attention as he smiled sweetly back as if he was in a trance. They kept eye contact for a few seconds before the smell of a burning pancake broke the Doctor's trance. Clara left him flailing in the kitchen as she walked out she gave an eye role and a giggle.

The Doctor plated the pancakes, smearing chocolate spread on Clara's and sugar on his own. He walked through to the lounge and placed the plates on the small table. They both started eating their pancakes and Clara moaned, earning a questioning look of the Doctor.

"Sorry, but these are really good." She told him; with a half full mouth. She shoved another fork full of pancake into her mouth.

"Thank you. I learnt the recipe of Jamie Oliver himself." The Doctor replied; taking another mouth full.

"Are you being serious? You've met Jamie Oliver?" Clara asked; her mouth forming an 'O' shape.

"Oh yeah. We were quite good friends… until I nearly burnt down one of his restaurants …" He replied.

"I won't bother asking how." She replied with a grin.

.

.

.

A while later after they had finished their pancakes Clara began to pack a small bag with essentials. Phone, money, a pen, a torch and her keys.

"Come on Clara!" The Doctor groaned as she brushed her hair again.

"Alright, but you do realise you have a time machine so it doesn't matter what time it is." Clara retorted.

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply but stopped in realization.

"Still. I'm bored." He told her.

"Oh shut up. You're acting like a little kid."

"Am not! I'll have you know I'm over two thousand years old." He replied. He stood up and pointed his finger at her as if she was a little child, which considering the age difference she sort of is to him.

"Oh yes. Sorry, off course_ oh highly wise lord of time_." She said sarcastically. He went to reply but was cut off when she grabbed his hand and pulled him to the TARDIS.

"Where too chin boy?"

.

.

.

.

.

The TARDIS landed back in the same spot in her flat but this time it was five in the afternoon. It was just going dark outside. Both Clara and the Doctor came out of the TARDIS giggling.

"Thanks Doctor for another brilliant adventure. I would say next time let's try not to get killed but… yeah like that's ever going to happen." Clara grinned up at him.

"No problem. Same time next Wednesday. Well not a five in the morning but-" The Doctor started but was cut off.

"Yep next Wednesday." She giggled. She leant up and kissed hip on the cheek. He wrapped his arms around her waist drawing her closer to him and she wrapped her arms around his next. He picked her up, span her in a full turn and plonked her back down on the floor but still holding her waist.

"See you next Wednesday." He said with a dazed smile and he kissed her forehead and walked back into the TARDIS.

Clara sighed as she watched the TARDIS fade away. Left in her cold dim flat again. She quickly changed into her pyjamas, removed her make-up and jumped into bed. Her legs were going to ache tomorrow from all that running, she thought. Oh well it was worth it. She re-played what happened that day, when the Doctor had took her hand before they ran, that silly grin he gave her when there was danger and the constant feel of him trying to impress her with words she didn't even understand. She smiled at the image of his grin, he was the last thought in her mind before she drifted asleep.

For once she went to sleep with a smile on her lips.


End file.
